Dreaming
by Lizabethia
Summary: Another fireplace scene that is not THE fireplace scene. Not AU, just a 'missing moment' set in Varykino. Inspired by the song Love, Love, Love by Monsters and Men. First person Padme.


This story was written after hearing the song _Love, Love, Love _by Monsters and Men. I used to read FanFic years ago when songfics still existed…I guess they don't anymore? Or are just banned; copywrite laws? Anywhooo, ya'll should definitely look up the lyrics.

This is a scene written from first point of view, which I typically don't like. I guess general musings can be a little pointless. Not to mention they're typically cesspools of fragmented sentences. But what do I know. I haven't taken a grammar course since highschool. Regardless, I enjoyed writing this one.

It's set in Varykino during AOTC. I like to imagine that A and P must have been there at least a few days before they jaunted off to Tatooine. So this is another fireplace scene prior to _the_ fireplace scene. I guess I'm trying to set up Padme's mindset for the movie's scene.

***J'adore reviews***

* * *

As a Senator I've learned to apologize and make amends for my errors-those made purposely and the ones made unconsciously too.

But I won't take responsibility for this. Not for something I haven't done intentionally. Never for stealing your heart.

In this matter, any responsibility on my behalf would be an inaccurate. May it always be known that you gave your love to me willing. Even now you are staring at me,desperately offering it up over and over with each passing second.

When I look into those eyes it's plain to see…

Your love is earnest

Your heart, honest.

Your faithfulness, endless.

And it's hopelessly romantic.

So I sit here, pretending to read my datapad, and I can't help but feeling like a crook. Knowing that despite my position on the matter, I _do_ own your heart so fully, so completely. No, I never asked for it…and I certainly haven't offered up my own in return.

Yet I'm worried you don't see it that way. Our kiss that first day here, that _was_ my mistake. You initiated but I stopped it. For not nipping it sooner-yes, Senator Amidala will take that blame. She would change it if she could.

But deep down, Padme Naberrie would leave that moment untouched.

And now for my honesty…Anakin, with you in my life, these days are a dream set to repeat. We wake up, spend the warm, daylight hours together in this heaven-like paradise. My childhood nostalgia mixes with your worshipful companionship. It's an atmosphere that can only be described as intoxicating.

On the extensive grounds of Varykino we laugh and play like children, explore, eat, tease, swim, chat. We even bicker at times. We dine on all my favorite Naboo treats; my senses are heightened in every way and reality's lines begin to blur. Can life actually be this delicious? I know I should wish to be back serving the Republic on Courscant, and part of me truly does, but I can't help but feel indulgent here.

Finally, in the evenings we come to this sitting room where we spend the remainder of the day in silent company with the hearth. It is in this twilight-quiet that my spirit feels more restless than the fire's unruly flames. For I know that eventually we will retire to our separate rooms and I'll be alone. Loneliness and I make miserable bedfellows.

But before I can fall into total despair, the dawn comes and the dream repeats…

However, the dream is always a chaste one. Tonight we've retreated to this sitting room again, to the same couch that we share like all the nights before. I'm agitated and toggle through reports, flipping between this-and-that, nothing holding my attention as truly as the fire's reflection dancing on your skin. I can't help but steal a glance at you. Unsurprisingly, you catch me, but I look away again, pretending that our eyes didn't meet. Pretending our souls didn't connect for that instant.

And then I sigh.

I touch you so rarely, when I do it's only when you've ordinarily passed me something or in jest. Yes, I'm guilty of those small flirtations. I cannot deny myself that selfishness. Anything else with different, deeper intentions we've managed to avoid since our mistake on the balcony. It's all too easy to recall your fingertips gliding over my bare back. The pragmatist within me fears that if we let it start again, we wouldn't stop...

And that's frightening and intriguing. I can not deny there's an intangible magnetism between us. But I can try to hold it at bay. One of us has to-if only for your sake. Can I love you enough _not_ to love you? It's a question that continually runs through my head.

Ultimately, my anxious thoughts start to dwindle. I've finally settled on one document and I let the evening hours pass by through focused study.

…...

It's not until the morning rays of sunshine poke through the curtains that I realize I spent the night in this room. Sunshine speeds wakeful consciousness into my mind. I hear the birds whistling outside the windows. I touch the data pad sprawled next to me. There's a groggy morning taste is in my mouth and my body feels heavy and warm. And then I realize it. Your arm is around me. We've spent the night together on this couch, albeit unintentionally.

I should feel many things. Indignant. Embarrassed. Perhaps I should even feel scared.

I am surprised to feel only comfort.

Comfort in your closeness, your presence. You didn't leave me...

So I'll have to leave _you_.

Somehow, I maneuver myself out of our arm without you waking. I take my reading with me and smooth the covers of the furniture, erasing any traces that I was there.

I hope you'll think you dreamed it.

_Fin_


End file.
